REVIEW: Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

FOUR uber annoying twin sidekicks out of TEN (Devastation Nation. There's so much wrong with this - Optimus is "dead" for the bulk of it, the humour is lame, the Mother is now an OTT loony toon, the bots hardly ever kick ass in vehicle form etc - I dont know how Kurtzman & Orci missed the mark so spectacularly... I'm guessing Kruger's involvement upset their mojo)

REVIEW: Year One

ONE flat biblical reference out of TEN.

REVIEW: The Hangover

EIGHT rediculously hilarious Mike Tyson cameo's out of TEN

CUT TO: AN EPIC FAILURE... IN TANDEM

When I started this blog my original intention was for it to serve as a reminder of my goal of making it in the world of Film. A place to pledge my perogative in public with gratuitious alliteration. The mission statement - had I created one - would stipulate that any success or failure incurred on this path to glory would be posted here on this blog. A place to vent on loss or brag a win, preferrably the latter.

The following is the latest update in adherence to my non-existent mission statement.

So, I heard back from the crew at Zapruder, re: the TV producer gig I applied for on their new show.

Not. Interested.

They did atleast go into some detail on the result of my application. After recieving over 8000 applications I had apparently made it down into the top 120. My application was "reviewed repeatedly" but unfortunately there are only 60 positions available on the new show and I didn't survive the final cull.

Not to worry, I thought, I've yet to hear back from John Jameson Productions... and besides, thats the competition that I REALLY wanted to win.
Today I discovered that the reason I havent even a missed call or lost voicemail message from Jameson's is that they clearly dont contact the competition losers. A mad dash to the website proved that they have indeed settled on the final 3 winners.
I could take this opportunity to start on how Jameson Whisky tastes like cheap malt piss, but I'm taking the high road here. To be fair, the Jameson comp really is fantastic. It's the only competition I know of that gives amatuer screenwriters the opportunity to have their own script turned into a fully funded professional shoot with some real high profile talent behind the camera. This is only it's second year and these things never seem to last very long but I really do hope it sticks around to become an annual fixture on the amatuer comp calander.

At the end of the day, nothing lost on both counts. Still, I know you've "gotta be in it to win it" but damn it would be nice for that last part to come into fruition again sometime sooner or later.

The game continues...

REVIEW: X-MEN ORIGINS: Wolverine

SIX AND A HALF (unnecessarily) computer generated claws out of TEN.

REVIEW: Star Trek

I'm no critic, so from here on in I'm cutting the crap - and straight to the chase... with an "out of ten" rating.

Star Trek: NINE appropriated blaster sfx from Star Wars out of TEN.

CUT TO: an appreciation of the music video...

The artistic merit of music videos is a debate that never seems to go out of style. Rather than stoke the coals here, I thought I'd just post a few clips of some great vids that I've come to love over the years. Making music videos is one path many an aspiring Director has taken, often with the aim of getting noticed by a studio and/or the right people...the right people being the brass who keep an eye on new clips and can poach up and coming Directors and put them behind the wheel of a feature film. In reality I think it rarely happens this way but, to be fair, it worked out alright for Brett Ratner and Michael Bay. Exceptions rather than the rule I'm sure; the equivelent of a modelesque 16 year old piece of jailbait being "discovered" whilst shopping at the Mall.

Personally, I'd love to cut my teeth directing video's. I've always favoured the quirky clips that utilize the medium to do something iconic and cool, like these...

*I'd hoped to post the clips directly on here but, since iTunes has been selling Music clips, it's become increasingly difficult to find decent quality versions online for free. Most of the one's that are on Youtube have had their embed code removed by request if they havent been pulled entirely, so I've instead provided the direct links. A notable ommission is the haunting video for Bjork's "Human Behaviour", which I cant find anywhere on the web. Nevertheless, here's some of my fav's...

Weezer - Island In The Sun (Spike Jonze)

Coldplay - Yellow (James & Alex)

The Verve - Bittersweet Symphony (Walter Stern)

Sick Puppies - All the same (Shimon Moore)

Massive Attack - Teardrop (Walter Stern)

Michael Jackson - Thriller (John Landis)

Justice - D.A.N.C.E. (Jonas & François)

OK GO - Here it goes again (Trish Sie)

The Presets - My People (Kris Moyes)

Jamiroquai - Virtual Insanity (Jonathan Glazer)

Chemical Brothers - The Salmon dance (Dom & Nic)

CUT TO: a flashback of past success...

Until I have some new progress to report (Thanks in part - hopefully - to the folks at Zapruder and/or Jamesons) I thought i should include a clip of my winning entry from the 2008 MTV ONE80PROJECT; Generation When. A fantastic entry level comp with some great prizes (I ended up with $10,000 cash and a small warehouse of Samsung electronics)

It's a bad clip. Almost embarrassing. DEFINITELY cringe-worthy. But I subscribe to the belief that you can't fully appreciate how far you've come until you acknowledge where you've been. So, welcome to HandiCam High... the place I've been languishing in for the past few years. Cheers to bigger and better produced vids to come!

Clip in question is below along with a link to the website and Wikipedia page, which still hasn't been updated to include the 2009 winners but it will give you an idea of what it's all about.

http://www.one80project.com.au/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MTV_Australia#Optus_ONE80PROJECT

CUT TO: A desperate man hunched over a computer in a hotel lobby at 2am...

No prizes for guessing that desperate man was me. What was I doing? In a nutshell, I was trying to set myself up for the next couple of months. In light of my current situation I should have been browsing job ads on Seek.com.au but instead my 15 minutes (at a cost of $2!) of hotel lobby Internet time was spent submitting applications for competitions. The pursuit of a career in film continues!

Both projects were due on the same day; Monday March 16th (which is actually the day before here in Canada, hence me sprinting to the Caribou Lodge at 2am to email the application before the closing date in Oz). The first was a 200 word synopsis for a short film in the John Jameson Productions screenwriting competition. Basically Jameson whisky endowes the 3 winning scripts (including pre-requisite twist ending) with a $20,000 budget and sets up your production with a production company - fast forward 6 months and I should have a schmick short film to my name. They ran the comp last year and the resulting 3 short films were top notch. More info at the website: http://www.jamesonwhiskey.com.au/johnjamesonproductions/index.php?/

The 2nd thing I ticked off with a shaky caffeine fuelled hand at such an ungodly hour and temperature (it was -20 at the time here in Banff) was an application for a role on the new Zapruder's Other Film's (That's Andrew Denton's prod company, same guys behind Enough Rope and The Gruen Transfer) TV show. They're building the project, which so far is an untitled reality news show, from the ground up, with media savvy staff who are new to the world of TV. Cut to a montage of me racing around Banff like a blue-arsed fly over the past week trying to finish the video component of the application. In the end I applied for a role as a Producer / Director, but I guess the decision lies in the hands of the brass at Zapruder's. We shall see soon enough. Website below:

http://www.projectnext.net.au/

REVIEW: Watchmen

What better way to kick things off and test the formatting of Blogger than with an adjective laden movie review!

Last night I saw Watchman, the anticipated OTT spectacle from 300 wonderboy Zack Snyder. NO - I've never read the book. But YES - I made an effort to familiarize myself with the Watchmen universe before going in (unlike the bemused elderly couple sitting two seats away).

The long declared 'unfilmable' story is based on the 1986 graphic novel by Alan Moore and blah blah blah etc -You've heard the spiel. What it all amounts to is a campy action/adventure cinema experience akin to what could only be described as War and Peace on acid. A lot of morality talk and pretty colours set to one of the oddest yet strangely enjoyable soundtracks you've ever heard.
Thanks to her surname's pole position in the alphabet, Swedish hottie Malin Ackerman gets top billing, but this is an ensemble piece with many fine performances, though, devoid of the kind of juicy role that had Heath Ledger pulling in droves of punters to multiplexes 6 months ago.

Technically perfect with flawless special effects, not even the flamboyant costume's look out of place in Snyder's religiously preserved rendition of the offbeat world inhabited by the Watchmen. Their meddling in our alternate history (The godlike Dr. Manhattan wins the Vietnam war for America) is an interesting angle, grounding the story with a real world context as opposed to quarantining itself in some fictional city a 'la Batman's Gotham or Superman's Metropolis. Praise aside, it's a shame then that Nixon (here portrayed serving a 3rd term as President) comes off looking and behaving little like the exaggerated characterization we've come to know and expect.

The Dark Knight this is not. Whereas the popular Batman installment focused on Bruce Wayne's dramatic struggle to contain Gotham's most notorious villain, Watchmen is a broader superhero story told on a much grander scale, encompassing a mixed bag of caped crusaders fighting across time (alternate 1985) and space (Mars!) for peace amidst the pre-apocalyptic tensions of a US Vs Soviet induced WWIII.

The peripheral demo's who enjoyed Knight will steer clear after opening weekend. This is one for the fanboys.

Bullet-time money shots: Tick!
CGI destruction orgy: Tick!
Hyper edited fight scenes: Tick!
Worth the price of admission? Hell yes.

Sure, it's a little long and it ain't the most mainstream execution of blockbusting superhero's you've likely seen before. But it is different.

SEVEN radioactive blue penises out of TEN.